No matter how much we plan and no matter how much effort we put into creating our future, some things are out of our control. Certain things will happen. Our attempts at avoidance are futile.
I was walking a nature path and saw a massive tree trunk sitting midstream of a shallow river. The tree lay on it's side completely displaced. One might wonder how it came to rest here, but there were other indicators of a flash flood so there was no mystery. This giant came to its resting place via a surge of rushing rainwater.
The tree had no business in this place. Yet here it was. This tree couldn't stop the rain from falling and it couldn't keep the floods from rising. Once afloat, the tree couldn't stop or steer itself. The tree had no choice but to accept this wild ride.
Perhaps you can relate to this tree. Maybe you made plans, worked hard to see those plans become reality, and sat in shock as "life happened" bringing you to a place you never saw coming. Or maybe you just sang Hakuna Matata and determined to "let come what may" so this new place means little to you. Then again, perhaps you woke up one day and said, "How the hell'd I get here?"
None of those thoughts relate? What about this… have you ever wondered what your life could have been? Where your life could have went? If you are on the right track or behind? Or, if you are missing something in life? Missing something you should have experienced?
I have. There was a time, not so long ago, that I felt like I lost a period of my life. I was upset. And I felt like I had missed out on what was mine. My experience was lost. A heavy darkness covered my heart and I knew I was missing out. I couldn't see past that darkness to rediscover the joy of living. I was in the wrong place, a place I didn't belong.
Maybe an overshare… but maybe you can relate.
During this time, I was reminded of a passage in the book of Ecclesiastes (A part of the Bible, Old Testament) in which it describes various seasons and times of life:
To everything there is a season,
A time for every purpose under heaven:
A time to be born,
And a time to die;
A time to plant,
And a time to pluck what is planted;
A time to kill,
And a time to heal;
A time to break down,
And a time to build up;
A time to weep,
And a time to laugh;
A time to mourn,
And a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones,
And a time to gather stones;
A time to embrace,
And a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to gain,
And a time to lose;
A time to keep,
And a time to throw away;
A time to tear,
And a time to sew;
A time to keep silence,
And a time to speak;
A time to love,
And a time to hate;
A time of war,
And a time of peace.
This is a beautiful piece of literature. It's simplicity is poetic. It's depth is staggering. It's meaning is plain to most readers.
For many years, and from many people, I've heard this excerpt explained to people experiencing difficulty accordingly: "This is your season of difficulty. This is your time of darkness. Never fear, the morning will come and your season of hope will rise!"
It's a good thought. It sounds nice. In fact, maybe I'll make a "Thinking of You" card with that on it…
But this interpretation is also fancy words with shallow thoughts. I don't think the author meant for his passage to be interpreted this way. In fact, I feel that the author wanted to give his reader a key thought about life. The man was Solomon, some credit him to be the wisest man to ever live. This is believed to be written by him as he neared the end of his life. Here we have the wisdom of an old man and I doubt his thought was just, "Life has seasons that suck… just hold out till the next season."
I think there was more in his heart. I think that Solomon meant for his reader to realize that their life would be full of seasons, and if they want to experience the fullness of their life, they would need to allow themselves to feel each season as it comes. Think of it this way:
To everything there is a season,
A time for every purpose under heaven:
A time to be born, so celebrate life!
And a time to die; and grieve with those who lost,
A time to plant, so plant!
And a time to pluck what is planted; work, work, work!
A time to kill, duty demands it.
And a time to heal; rest when needed.
A time to break down, leg day...
And a time to build up; protein baby!
A time to weep, so let yourself cry.
And a time to laugh; laugh and laugh and laugh.
A time to mourn, so mourn.
And a time to dance; and dance like nobody is watching!
A time to cast away stones, skip away!
And a time to gather stones; leave the landscaping stones there!
A time to embrace, we all need a hug.
And a time to refrain from embracing; not at work.
A time to gain, Thanksgiving!
And a time to lose; New Years :(
A time to keep, protect your memories!
And a time to throw away; let go of negativity.
A time to tear, rip it!
And a time to sew; A stitch in time...
A time to keep silence, not a word!
And a time to speak; Speech!
A time to love, Love one another.
And a time to hate; hate evil.
A time of war, Not in my house!
And a time of peace, namaste!
The last thing Solomon needs is my jokes added to his wisdom… but my point is simply this: to everything there is a time and season; live and experience that time and season when it comes.
There are times of darkness. Allow yourself to feel that darkness. To know it. Realize it's there for this time and it's a part of your story. It's not here forever, but for now…
Who knows what's next? Maybe laughing? Feel that joy, let your laugh be real, and allow yourself to belly laugh (or snort).
The birth of a baby? The rush! The diapers! The drooling! The sleepless nights! The first tooth! The first words! The first time they repeat you swearing… feel the joy, the sleepiness, and the embarrassment of those moments.
Life was meant to be experienced. Our life is ours only. Nobody else is exactly like us, and nobody else has the same experiences or perspectives. Allow yourself to feel the good and the bad. Some tragic moments will happen to us. When that happens, we can feel the natural emotions that come. Allow ourselves to grieve. Let this experience shape us and open the door to the next season in it's time. It would be unwise to compare our experience to other's, seeking to determine if our life is better or worse than theirs… Our life is ours alone, and we were given it to experience it for ourself.
When we can get to the point that we are willing to experience and feel each season and time of life, then we will be able to live life to the fullest. I believe this is what Solomon wanted us to learn.
I believe in working to make the best life for myself. I seek to make good decisions and prepare for difficult times that are inevitable. But I can't control the future. I can't stop a flood from dragging me away and placing me where "I don't belong". The unexpected will happen in its season. That time will come. And when I'm dragged away from where "I'm supposed to be" and dropped in a different spot… I'll be there. I'll continue living. I'll recognize a new season and experience what comes. For this, I propose, is the "ancient secret" to living a full life.
-Kevin Risatti
